Friday, May 28, 2010

Relationships and The shit It does to your mind by Taylor

In relationships I am the passive type usually once I've asked you to be with me I usually leave the rest to you. I'm a romantic at heart I'll call you just to say I miss you, text you when you are tired, try and make you laugh at moments when nobody can I usually do this for someone I really like as in I really like that person too much to waste my precious units to do all this. Now Love is an idea I do not even consider cause I consider it too be a fucked up word people just tell each other to make themselves feel happy, when some of my exes even say I love you, I either change the subject quickly,laugh it off or say me too and this usually works. my last relationship was quite shitty, It started with lies and ended with neither of us even having the guts to say it was over so I developed a new motto I got from a song that I love "On to the next one" and so I moved on to my next relationship and this person was so amazing, we thought on the same wave length, very intelligent, we loved the same music and the person was into monogamy which was a plus being that for the mean time we were going to be in two different states we call each other like five times a day the thought of cheating didn't even cross either of our minds or so I thought, for some reason she came to Abuja for a short trip and she avoided being in the same room with me I thought it was just me cuz I know she is a touchy feely kinda girl and so I just brushed it off and then after she had gone back home I asked her to tell me the truth about what happened when we were in Abuja and then it came out about the cheating.I was shocked I couldn't even talk, for the first time in my life I almost cried because of a relationship, I almost shed a tear but before it came out my infamous cold heart started working and my face turned to stone and I cut the phone to stop more hurt. The truth is I felt that maybe it was my fault maybe i should have lost weight, I should have done this or that.
I don't cry ever neither do I expose my emotions so this is probably the last time I'll write about my personal life. As I'm blogging now I'm also listening to the H.A.T.E.U by Mariah Carey while by Bestie has gone out to get me the best things to get over a broken heart: Crunchie Chocolate, Ben &Jerry's, Microwave popcorn, and after I eat my heart out I'm going sleep with Nina Simone playing on my stereo. Thanks for Breaking my heart dunno if we are getting back together let me pick the pieces of my stone.

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