Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Armani ADS: Victoria Beckham vs Megan Fox

As everybody already knows I love Victoria Beckham, the lady works everything till it goes out of style and then I heard the shocker of all some time ago they were replacing her as the face of Armani with that no talent pout monger Megan Fox seriously that girl has the talent of a porn star.
Anyway you judge who looked hotter.

Armani Ads: David Beckham vs Cristiano Ronaldo

Last night while I was out with my friends. the boys were making fun of some boy toasting his babe in Ibo (who does that I mean this is the 21st Century) and then Alexa and Natasha started arguing in their who would you rather f@!#k moment so I asked them in my fatherly voice what are you dum dums arguing over and they say The Armani Ads for Cristiano Ronaldo are out and Natasha thinks Beckham's photo's are hotter so I told them we will leave it to the public to decide so chill out my dear ninnies and go back to eating the NkwoBi.

XTINA is too Bionic for my taste

Three days ago Alexa came back to Nigeria bearing gifts and one of them and one of them was the new Christina Aguilera Album Bionic. I have already been hearing things that the album was rubbish and she took a risk that probably wasn't gonna pay off all this courtesy of Perez Hilton who needs to get off Lady Gaga's Disco Stick and listen to other music. According to Hits Daily Double the album has sold a poor 111,838 units which is the lowest in her career. Neon reviews has this to say about the album "

On “I Am,” the stunning Sia-penned, string-heavy gem buried deep in the middle of Christina Aguilera’s new album, the golden-voiced singer revels in the joys of being loved for who she is.

But who is she exactly? On the bulk of the songs on Bionic, Aguilera’s fourth studio album, arriving four years after her last set, 2006’s Back To Basics, Xtina seems to be playing one huge game of musical make believe, making it hard to know when the real Xtina stands up.

Led by the artificially bold first single, “Not Myself Tonight,” penned by Ester Dean and produced by Polow Da Don, Bionic is a cold and calculated attempt by Aguilera to stay relevant in an era where big voices such as hers are treated as baggage scaled back to avoid fees and slick electronic beats are treated as first class passengers.

The first half the album is packed with caffine-drunk, characterless up-tempos that miss more than they hit; special ‘miss’ shout out to the ridiculous “Glam” which blatantly rips its essence from Madonna’s “Vogue,” while ‘hit’ honors go to the deliciously bouncy “Elastic Love.”

It isn’t until the middle of the set that the robotic shell is stripped away with a section of immaculate slow jams and ballads — the ode to morning nookie “Sex For Breakfast,” the inspirational, Linda Perry-written “Lift Me Up,” the new mommy’s dedication to her son “All I Need,” “I Am,” and the smoky “You Lost Me” (the last three are all courtesy of Sia) — that fans and critics alike are allowed to fully experience the reason why every Christina Aguilera album will always be worth at least one listen: that voice. It’s when that audible perfection escapes from her throat that Bionic feels worth the wait, that it feels like we’re finally seeing who Xtina is.

Sadly, Bionic reverts back to the brash earache it started as for the final three songs. Most notable is the potty-mouthed ego-stroke “Vanity” which opens with the line “I’m not cocky, I just love myself, b*tch.” Eek.

“I’m asking you to take me just the way that I am,” reads more lyrics from “I Am.” If that’s the shallow, vamped-up cyborg she presents on Bionic, no thank you"

My own view is that the album is a mix match of confusion, talent and desperation. Truly nowadays big voices don't rake in the bucks any more so in her quest to stay relevant she defecates on her talent and curses for the first half of the album. The latter part of the album shows her true talent. You Lost Me is a Christina true song any day she should stick to her ballads because the song was probably almost as good as Beautiful, then you here Vanity which is currently plying on my Itunes and you think what is going on here why does she keep repeating the word bitch as if it's meant to give you an orgasm and then to top it all off she ends the song with Who owns the throne and then someone maybe her son says you do mommy, WHY!!!!!!!! she needs to get her shit together and sack the ape shits that suggested this direction for her.

We still love her though that's why I have my three puppets Timi, Alexa and Natasha dancing WOO HOO in the background.

The Pompadour

The Pompadour is a hairstyle that is fast becoming a trend on the fashion scene and like every hairstyle it is not for everybody.
The name originated from a mistress of King Louis XV called Madame de Pompadour. She invented the white pompadour wig that signifies nobility and wisdom.The pompadour was a fashion trend in the 1950s among male rockabilly artists and actors. It later became widely associated with James Dean and Elvis Presley.
In recent times Janelle Monae seems to be the one rocking this trend and the girl is really working it also La Roux front woman is another person who is working the trend though hers is a more updated look. Rihanna occassionally does it but as usual she ends up looking like an over made up hack rather than what she is supposed to look like(someone should pls tell her we so over her dark phase it's get rather annoying than shocking). Also Willow Smith worked the trend to the premiere of Karate Kid.
How to:

A pompadour is often created by combing the sides of the hair back, while fanning the top of the hair forward and curling over itself. There are numerous ways to sculpt a pompadour. Some only curl the front few inches of their hair up, while others comb their hair back and use their hands to "push" it into its desired place. Occasionally hair is kept relatively short and cut into the desired look, and pompadours are created through standing the hair straight up, retaining a "spiked" quality. Variations on exact style vary from a straight front to a more rounded and organic look.

For women, the hairstyle has become marginally popular again in the first few years of the twenty-first century. It can be created by ratting at the roots of the hair on the sides of the pompadour towards the top of the head. Then the hair is combed up and over the ratted hair, off the forehead, the front up in a curl straight back, and the sides pulled back towards the center.

Friday, June 11, 2010


I think some elitist Nigerians are full of shit and I use that word elitist very loosely. Why on earth would someone send me an invitation to a party and then say later that it is strictly by invitation I mean seriously who does that. Why are you then publicizing your event, keep it between you are boring friends so you can all come to your party all dolled and then doze at the boredom yo have concocted all in the name of invitation only.
Some idiot might be saying abeg jo he is only saying this because they did not invite him. Yes numskull that's the reason, I understand not wanting riff raff at the event but that's what gate fees are for or if you are that exclusive get a good bouncer who has an eye for riff raff. I was at some invitation only event and my God!!!!!!! it was a snorefest the seats they kept for their nouveau-riche were left empty for the breeze to balance in and then the snotty hostess had the effrontery to ask if we were having fun to which i replied testily if there were actual people here we might not want to sleep.
Next time I see an advert for an exclusive party and Alexa and Natasha are both wetting themselves at the thought of being in an exclusive party I'll just remind them that all we are going to see there are a couple of snubs who managed to afford semi-expensive shoes and spice up their bend-down select gowns with belts and a couple of horny old men and pubescent boys all with baby peens looking to get laid that definitely would turn them off.

Till my next Rant this is Angry MR CHATTER signing out. XOXO u sabi say u loff me
p.s Sparrow if u r reading this this one u r now single I hope that oyibo did not mess with your heart. If she did we will come to Kamloops abi werever the place is and arrange her Naija Style Jenifa ain't got nuthin on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
picture courtesy: Bara Tobiah

Lanre Aluko-Olokun Presents Lorenzo Duffle Bag Collections and Jazz (Singer Song Writer)

Hey y'all(screaming in my best Miley imitation) Last week I came across this great up and coming singer/songwriter called Jazz while listening to the song on the web my friend Alexa passes through and says OMG that's the guy with the Ankara jacket I love his voice and I look at her in confusion saying WTF are you on about she then shoves me aside and clicks on some link she apparently inboxed me ages ago about someone on Bella Naija and it was the same person singing in some Lovely Ankara jacket.
First on his Music he has two songs I have heard Lanumi and Where I want to be. Lyrically the boy delivers better than I expected even better than some musicians I have heard. If I was to put him in a genre I would say Soul meets Jazz. If you are sitting at home making pasta (I wish) with your girlfriend (still wishing) put on either of the songs and pour yourself some red wine light some candles (the romantic ones not the Naija candles that will attract mosquitoes and ruin your night) and it will definitely get you some cuddling that night.

On to his designs apparently my attraction to his designs was the ankara jacket and bow-tie (wishing on both for Christmas) they are definitely attention grabbers and then the ankara Harem pants definitely a most for any confident fashionista.
Visit his page on facebook Jazz (singer,songwriter)

We mourn with Nelson Mandela

Even in this time of celebration of the World Cup there's a sour note added to the whole thing. Nelson Mandela lost his 13 year old great-grand daughter."Zenani Mandela, 13, was travelling in a car returning from the World Cup kick-off concert at Orlando Stadium when the accident occurred. There was only one car involved and no one else was injured," The Mandela Foundation said in a statement.

Zenani was the granddaughter of Zindzi Mandela, one of the children born to South Africa's first black president and Winnie Madikizela-Mandela.

"Zenani, who celebrated her 13th birthday on June 9, was the eldest child of Zoleka Seakamela and one of Mr Nelson Mandela?s nine great grand-children," the Foundation said.

Source:Yahoo News

Music Issues: Afolabi

I am trying as hard as I can to get into different genres of music, as many of my friends know I am not a big fan of rap, I might hear the occasional50 cent song or Fat Joe and bob my head to it but then Nicki Minaj came along and had me thinking there was still hope for me. I love this new artist Afolabi, he has some tracks which are unreleased but they are amazing he has this song Icy and Mirrors both very different genres which show his versatility as a musician. You should visit his Reverb Nation profile and become a fan of him on facebook. He is also a fashion designer and used to part of a design collective called Anarchy which consisted of Timi, Alaezi Akpuru, Bolanle Yesufu and Adeaga Bukumi.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Lady Gaga's Alejandro

I was waiting and waiting for this video to come out and then it did and all I could say was "ape shit" I wasted 20 mins waiting for this to load, I was foaming at the mouth in anger. It's not that the video was bad or anything I just didn't get the video with it's semi nude dancers and their awful haircuts. The S&M imagery was quite fin to look at and all that writhing on the bed was not as shocking as it would have been last year. the video is a little to Gothic for me and the lack of fun in the video made it seem like an ode to boredom rather than fleeing from a horde of horny Mexicans/Spaniards like I thought it would have been.
Enough of what I thought let's get to the video itself. The video was shot by fashion photographer Steven Klein. Gaga says of the video and the song that it was a celebration of her love and appreciation for the gay community.Her admiration of their bravery and their love for one another and their courage in their relationships. It's something I have yet to nail on the head with a man."
Many are saying the singer is inviting religious trouble
as she is seen swallowing rosary beads while dressed as a nun in a red PVC habit, tying a lover to a bed and experimenting with bondage and is also seen wearing an updated version of Madonna's cone bra which doubles up as guns.When any Music fan watches this video you'll definitely know she is paying homage to Madonna's Blonde Ambition days and Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The CFDA Awards

Sarah Jessica Parker was a floral beauty in a colorful Alexander McQueen gown at the 2010 CFDA Awards, held in New York City.supermodel Iman rocked a dramatic Giambattista Valli Fall 2010 gown. Alexander McQueen and Marc Jacobs both won awards at the awards.

Seen: Katie price at the BAFTA TV awards

Katie price aka Jordan was seen looking pretty good and less orange. Lovely dress BB

Agent Provacateur and Christian Louboutin: Too sexy for words

Shoe Fetish2: Studded Shoes

My wish list is expanding and I want to add these shoes to them imagine wearing them to a wedding as in......................

Cover Wars: The Vampires of Twilight cover Vanity Fair

The Ladies/Vampire femmes of Twilight have graced the cover of Vanity Fair sans the ever grouchy Kristen Stewart and they look amazing despite their failed attempts at subtly covering their armpits. Is it just me or does Dakota Fanning look older everyday and that greedy Ashley Greene is getting more tanned she must be a fan of Jersey Shore and Snooki Snickers.

Shoe Fetish: Christian Louboutin for Men

Men this is on my Wishlist this Christmas

Lady Gaga for Hello Kitty

this photo shoot features her royal craziness Lady GAGA dressed in Hello Kitty Regalia

IPhone4 and it's features

Yesterday my friend Nancy came by chirping Nnamdi Nnamdi the new Iphone is out when are we going to get ours and in reply I bitch slapped her stupid face and then said Idiot sorry for slapping you, I don't even have the first one they did neither do I have a blackberry so were will I get the money. She was still shocked from the slap and replied bitchily It's not my fault you no get money anyway the idiot says open your laptop may we check the feature make I go tell my Bofinto make im buy am with in new salary AAAAAHHHHH MO TI ARRIVE NI ABUJA!!!!!! I roll my eyes in disgust and leave the laptop to her razz hands.
Anyway here are the features
It has an Apple A4 processor designed by Apple engineers to be a powerful yet efficient mobile processor that can multi-task while saving battery life. The screen is made of alluminosillicate glass the same type used for helicopters.
Will you be buying the Iphone4 or smacking people who suggest it like me.
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